Why Not For The First time.
Said my English teacher when I scored an A+ for my test. She underestimated me, and all those who feel the same way. There is a big storm of regret coming your way.
The year ended off great, with a prospective job under a luxury heritage brand. It was a relief for both myself and my family, the stress of not earning and always in the stress of having to cover bills and repurpose every capital I have on production. It was a difficult job to juggle life and running a brand during Covid-19. Well, it was December when I was recruited, and well, you know, you can't be broke in December. This time I wasn't. For the past 4 years, It has been a series of misfortunes. The first was the loss of my grandmother Thoro Serape. Secondly, promised funding is being canceled, Thirdly, Covid-19 intensifies all the anxiety and disappointments turned to depression episodes. All these events happened in 2019 when I decided to build my brand and only work on other brands through consulting. Well, problem-solving is one of my strengths. The year would begin like this… figuring out a plan on how to pay my January rent in December while thinking about February. Stressed by the buying season in South Africans around January, because most individuals go on vacation in December spending all their bonuses on shopping. This trend makes it difficult for a young business to make through, that if you didn't make a killing in December. Imagine this mind state and wanting to create an impactful design and having to think about your needs and your business needs. It's close to impossible because all your problem-solving skills are centered around one problem, survival.
Well, that's not the case anymore. The first month of coming into a studio that is not mine, made me feel like a sellout as if I was quitting on my ambitions and dreams to fulfill someone else's. This mindset bothered me for some time. A call with my older sister who is in Lausanne put things in perspective but it felt like she was not understanding the feeling that I have because we did not start our career paths the same. Since graduating college I could never keep a job on the premise that I felt like my dreams were bigger and better. I would merely freelance and leave. From brands like Carducci, CSquared, Thabo Maketha, Kisua, Tshepo Jean just to name a few. Most times they didn't know what to do with me, nor myself included. The ambition made them feel like I was trying to run their business, but I was just there to help these brands achieve the best outcome which will reflect back onto me. Tit-for-tat. Again, I was too young and too inexperienced to understand the financial side of a creative business even though I was learning on the fly. This realization allowed me to step back and apply for a job at Maxhosa Africa as an atelier, which landed me in a better spot as a Product Developer where I could learn and practice in a safe environment.
Product Developer — Product developers help create new products or improve existing ones, which helps the company effectively meet consumers’ needs. They use their skills in engineering, design, and business to create products that meet production and market requirements.
I perform the same duties for my company. The only difference here is that I get paid for my service as to my company I don't get paid. For the company that I am currently under, they compensate me for my duties and there is enough legroom for me to exercise my knowledge and explore more. Producing ideas used to pain me at Name Brand because I had no capital, to begin with. These inefficiencies used to block me from exploring more ideas or paying anyone for that matter. Well, I pulled all the strings available to keep the ball rolling, meaning I was going deep into debt. Borrowing money from family and friends and luckily paying everyone with my first salary. Now, that's a Merry Christmas and a debtless New Year.
I'm looking at the future through an optimistic lens. Where all my learning will play part in the bigger scheme. This 8–5 will serve me with research, engagement with peers in the workplace, and how to develop a culture in the workplace that could be encouraging for all team members to be family members, and too, to pay my rent on time and take Name Brand out of the amateur league and into the pro league.
Amen
